Let's Talk About Sex

Preg post! Get excited.

"Are you carrying low or high?" "Hold your hands out.""I know you're having a girl." 

"I know you're having a boy."

Lack of rashes, morning sickness, fast heartbeat, sweets cravings 

(more like total SUGAR ADDICTION). 

My favorite is my father-in-law: "Is there a follow-through to the kicks and punches?" His theory is if it's a boy, there will be a follow-through. If it's a girl, no follow-through. Have your ever seen a girl through a baseball without training? It makes sense. If his prediction is correct, 

this little creature within is a girl.

Then there's the people that look at you, talk to you for a second and say, "So you're having a girl?"

Then there are the pronouns. Watching what people say when they refer to your little fetus. "Is he kicking?" "She's keeping you up all night, isn't she?" As if these people have some sort of secret subconscious answer for you. 

And the dreams. One boy dream a long time ago. And the rest have been girl. A girl who looks exactly like me when I was a babe. And from the sonogram pics, the baby is looking like Will. 

In my imagination, she also acts like Will. Thank goodness. Hopefully. Please let her be like Will.

This is not self-hate. From the tales we've each heard, he was a 10x better baby. 

Also, as a person, he has some fantastic traits. I could insert my strong traits for some of his weak ones. 

We've found out after being married and living together, he makes up for what I lack and vice versa. Hell yeah. 

But all in all, let her be like Will.

Then there's my own pronoun usage. What do I subconsciously know? What is all this she business?

What about the pencil trick I did with friends a long time ago. What did the horizontal line mean, followed by an up-and-down-vertical motion? I'm going to have a girl and then a boy? What does it all mean?

Then there's the other sonogram picture, where the baby is prepping from shoulderstand to plow pose (halasana), and well we can tell she's going to a little yogi, yes. But there's a little something protruding. A little taco coming forward out of the hip area.

Butt is up, baby is on its neck, looking up at legs overhead. Little something coming from the hip crease.  

But then again, there's a lot going on in this pick. Umbilical cord, bunch of amniotic fluid. 

And girls have little tacos too. 

When people ask, I say "My head says boy, and my heart says girl." So now I've turned the sex of my baby into a battle between head and heart. 

I'm just pouring over all the cues, all the different hints. It's supposed to be a damn mystery. Relax.

Why did I do this to us? We've come too far now. My doula says it's going to be beautiful. I'm just thinking, "Intense." It's going to be so intense. After all that, and with all that going on, and with that on top of all that. Whoa. 

But I'm loving my little green nursery and white onesies.

And I am enjoying the unknown. I appreciate uncertainty. And I freaking love surprises. 

Girlishly,

Liza Jane