"Just don't lie to me."
A word on fakeness, a word on graciousness. To be gracious, you have to delete the fakeness.
I was at a wedding a while back, and I was doing the ole small talk with an old friend. She asked me how I liked it out in the country. When I said, "Oh I love it!" She said, "Oh Liza, I don't believe you." And she didn't mean it in a, "You're so crazy!" kind of way. She meant it in a "You're lying." kind of way.
I just stared at her. Really? Did I sound like I was faking it? "No I truly do love it." She just shrugged. Weird. I really did mean it. I've never felt better. I can attest to fakeness in the past, but this was actually not at all fake.
Yes, she had been drinking. But it was a strange sensation for me, because at once, I respected her for being so real, and at the same time, I was like "How dare you judge me and my beautiful life!"
Then, one day, I had my last and final small talk fake conversation. I was done. I washed my hands of anything insincere, unauthentic, untrue, unreal.
I still slip into them from time to time because you can't go around acting like Larry David.
Or can you?
I have whole friendships and relationships based on the fact that we have a common interest in being real. I love real people. I flock to them like a refrigerator magnet.
Just because you're being real doesn't mean you get to act like a donkey. Or can you? Just kidding. No. Do no harm. If you're going to be smiling and warm and polite and respectful and kind and uplifting, let's make it authentic.
So if you're in a moon time, you might want to just get away from people like a werewolf until your time has been lifted, and the hair recedes back.
We have only one shot, they say. Let's make it real.
PS: For a taste of the authentic, visit my friend Nancy's blog: www.fancijaebyrd.blogspot.com